The Great Recession drags on.If you are experiencing some financial distress, do not let your enjoyment of the Day for Lovers suffer.Spending less money does not mean you love your wife or husband any less.Sure, we would all like to give expensive jewelry, a great dinner, and flowers to demonstrate just how much we depend on our mate and how important they are to us.But, there are better ways.As a Couples Counselor for over 20 years, I have witnessed couples sharing their deepest love feelings and intentions in ways that do not include giving material things.The smart and successful couples know that the deep emotions cannot be expressed in material objects or in one special day.Here are three suggestions for you..1.Dr.John Gottman, of the Couples Institute in Seattle, Washington researched couples that are successful in their relationships.These couples maintained a healthy balance in what Dr.Gottman called their Emotional Bank Account.That is, they looked for ways to do nice things for their partner.Small actions such as a loving e-mail or text message when least expected can increase your partners good will toward you-another deposit into the emotional bank account.2.Be sincere and intentional with whatever you decide to do for your spouse.Even if you decide to go the expensive way, the gift needs to be given with heartfelt and genuine affection.Husbands and wives can tell if it is a "gesture in name only." The entire practice of Feng Shui is based on intentionality.This ancient Chinese art of improving your life has been used successfully by emperors and sages of the East for thousands of years.Intention, a combination of a strong desire and visualization of what you want to happen, is essential.So as you give your gift (an expensive item or a hand-made card from scraps), be aware of intentions--your intention to demonstrate your love and your hope that your partner feels heartened and bolstered by your love.Do not make the mistake of underestimating intention.3.Put your feelings and thoughts about your partner in writing-an e-card, text message, e-mail or snail mail.Write about how they make you feel.Answer the question. Why do I love you? Here are a few examples to get you started..You bring out the best in me;.I feel comfortable being myself when I'm around you;.No one else has ever made me feel unique/cherished/______ like you do;.Your strength/integrity/______ inspires me to be a better person;.You are a rare gem that exemplifies kindness/trust/_____;.You've seen me at my best and my worst, yet love me anyway;.The way you show affection/caring/love/emotion/_____.Love makes the world go round.We are designed to be in love, to love, and to be in relationships where we can love and be loved.It gives our lives color, meaning and depth.Treat this love, (be it for a lover, friend, parent, or pet) with the care and respect it deserves.So, what am I doing on Valentines Day-on the cheap? I am going to goggle "Romantic Movies" and see what comes up.I will also buy a moderately priced bottle of wine to go with chocolates while we watch the moving together.I do not know what he has planned.What about you? What are you going to do?
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