The core to overcoming envy or jealousy is threefold. - Understanding Gods love - Being content with His provision - Loving others as God loves you.Envy and jealousy are futile attempts to fill ones deepest longings for significance and security by seeking what someone else has or by controlling what someone else does.The person who is struggling should be gently and consistently pointed to the love and sufficiency of Jesus Christ.In addition, offer encouragement that the person is willing to address this issue and look honestly at his/her own sin.Action Steps 1.Be honest * We all deceive ourselves in a multitude of ways.While we may not feel we are experiencing envy or jealousy, they may be disguised in many different forms such as criticism, contempt, gossip, self pity, manipulation, etc.* Ask God to reveal your motivations and feelings.Write down in a journal or private notebook what God has shown you in your heart.* Confess your heart attitudes to Christ.2.Focus on Jesus Christ * God sees you as His own beloved child.* In the morning when you wake up, before your feet touch the floor, commit yourself and the day to God asking for His guidance and presence throughout the day.3.Develop a lifestyle of gratitude and worship * Count your blessings.* Read the psalms as personal prayers; praising God for who He is and what He has done.* At the end of each day, reflect on the unexpected blessings you received throughout the day.Thank God for His constant love and care.4.Avoid activities that encourage comparison * Only spend time in malls when there is a specific item you need to purchase.* Read books that encourage reflection on the beauty of life and Gods creation.* Minimize exposure to magazines, media, etc.That focus on material gain.5.When feeling envious * Pray for God's blessing to be poured out on your life and give thanks for Gods provision.* Remind yourself of Jesus counsel that one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses (Luke 12.15).Ultimately, things are shallow substitutes for the presence of God in your life.* Remind yourself of who you are as one of God's chosen children.From the beginning [God] chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth (2 Thessalonians 2.13).* Ask yourself what it is about another person that you envy.Does this person have strong social skills? Is she deeply compassionate? Thank God for the redeeming qualities you see in that person and ask God to form those qualities in your own heart.You will then move from envy to admiration.Affirm and give thanks for the qualities that God has established in your own heart.6.When feeling Jealous * Be honest with yourself back off from controlling or manipulative statements.* Spend time with God soak yourself in prayer and Gods Word.Ask Him to transform your need for security into dependence on and confidence in Him.* Transform your mind instead of allowing your anxious thoughts to lead to dark suspicions, ask God to cleanse your heart and mind.Ask Him to help you truly love (love does not envy.Thinks no evil, 1 Corinthians 13.4-5).Remember all the positives in your relationship.Do something right then to show your love.Make a call, send an e-mail.7.Grow * Create a plan to develop the gifts and abilities God has uniquely given you. * Evaluate your spiritual gifts and talents.* Practice spiritual disciplines.* Spend time memorizing Scripture, make a commitment to fast and pray for a particular situation in your life.* Ask God to bring believers into your life who can encourage you in your relationship with Christ.8.Consider follow up For some people, a chronic struggle with envy may be indicative of deeper unresolved pain from ones past.Working with a professional therapist may be the best course of action.Take help from Internet counseling.
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